Kissing in the Rain
by Gummy Rocks
Summary: You still can't bring yourself to say R.I.P...


Kissing in the rain

I got this idea because of my sister who lost her boyfriend. It's a little on the sad side, but enjoy!

You cry yourself to sleep at night. Your pillow absorbs your tears and muffled your screens. You can't breathe because you're crying so hard. It feels like your throat is closing. You try to close your eyes, and go to sleep. But your body isn't quite ready for rest. Instead, his sea green eyes flash across the scene. The tears start coming down harder. The screams get louder. And once that it feels like you're going to die yourself, sleep finally comes. You like to sleep. The pain temporarily goes away. You don't feel like you're drowning. You feel like you can finally breathe easily. Your throat isn't sore from all the screaming. Your eyes aren't bloodshot red from all the crying. Sleeping is peaceful. Sleeping is painless. When you are asleep, your heart feels whole. The best part about sleeping is your dreams are black. Nothing in your dreams will remind you he is gone. Sleeping is your escape from reality. But of course you can't hide from reality forever. You wake up the next morning, to see his face staring at you from your wall. You have all kinds of pictures of him on your wall. It's your way of holding onto him. With these entire pictures you can fool yourself. You can say he is not really dead. You look at the picture on the wall. Your eyes stop on your favorite one. It's of the two of you, kissing in the rain. You smile at the memory. But your smile quickly turns upside down, and the tears start coming down. You look away from the picture. Because that picture reminds you he is really gone. You don't want to let him go. You can't admit to yourself that he is dead. You can't bring yourself to say R.I.P.

Your step mother knocks on your door and tells you, you need to go to school. You get off your bed and put on some sweat pants and a muscle shirt. You leave your hair down. You walk out of your room and into the kitchen, where your family automatically stops the laughing. You just grab your car keys and leave. You pull up to the school's parking lot and you head off to class. When you walk in all the laughing stops and everybody looks at you. You just sit in your seat and put your head down. That's what you hate. Everybody treats you differently, just because your boyfriend got killed at sixteen. Everybody treats you like a little two year old. They always throw sympathetic looks. And you just hate it when people you don't even know come up to you and say they are sorry for your lost. You especially hate it when people come up to you and talk about Percy, because you know they never knew him and he didn't know them. And when people tell you if you need anything feel free to ask them, you want to scream back that you need Percy. And nobody can fucking bring Percy back.

It's been six months since Percy died. It's been six months since you wanted to kill yourself. It's been five seconds since you've cried. You're standing in the middle of your room, staring at your wall full of his pictures. The tears are coming down your face. You're breathing hard. You know your face is all red. You start on one side of the wall. You start ripping down his picture. The tears are blurring your vision. You are so angry at Percy. You're angry at him for leaving you. You're angry with him for breaking you're heart. You're mad at him for making you cry all the time. You are mad at him because he is not here for you. You are mad at him for being dead. Then you are mad at yourself for ripping down his pictures. But you know you need to so you still rip them down. You are disgusted with yourself for not wanting to look at a picture of him. But right now, you are so mad at him that you take all the pictures down and put them in a bag and put them in your closet. You take his shirts he had at your house and put them in that bag. You take all the jewelry that he gave you and you put it in that bag. You put everything in that bag that reminds you of him. You put that bag in the closet and you close the door. You think you are closing the door on Percy, and you think you've stopped grieving, but you find yourself not being able to say R.I.P.

It's been one year since he has died. It has been six months since you've looked at a picture of him. It's been two minutes since you cried. Today is the day when you got the horrible phone call. The phone call that informed you the love of your life was dead. Now you sit in your room staring at the closet. You are starting to forget the little things about Percy. Like his smile, or the way he did his hair. Things like that. You are tempted to open your closet and look at a picture of him. But you know that will hurt more then anything. But you do it anyways. You walk to your closet and open the doors. You pull out that bag and you take out a picture. It's the picture of you and Percy kissing in the rain. You smile through your tears. It's ironic out of hundreds of pictures in that bag, that's the one you pull out. You look down at the picture again. Some tears drop on it. You wait for the tears to really start coming down. But they don't. You wait for that sinking feeling, but it doesn't come. You wait for your heart to ache, but it doesn't. To your amazement you feel kind of happy. Happy at the fact that you got to spin the time you did with Percy. You are glad that you have happy memories of him. Yes, that day you smiled instead of cried. But that feeling is over when you pull a picture out that is of Percy wearing his swim trunks and is swimming in a pool. You can feel the tears start pouring down your face. This picture only reminds you that he was only seventeen when he died. It reminds you that he will never be able to live his life, and swim. Yes, that day you smiled but ended up crying.

Its been two years since Percy died. It's been two weeks since you cried. And the reason you cried was because you made that dog tag, which said

_R.I.P. Percy Jackson my first true love._

Yes you were finally able to say rest in peace.

It's been seven years since Percy died. It's been two years since you started dating Nico. It's been three minutes since you cried. Today was the day you got that unfortunate phone call. Regularly around this time of the year, you feel like you are falling apart. But with Nico around, its better. When you first started dating Nico you felt guilty. You felt like you were cheating on Percy. But Nico helped you. He was there for you during your darkest times. And he is here for you now. You know and he knows you will never be able to love him like you did Percy. But it's a start. And he is willing to except that.

Review please!


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